Here are some handy tips on how to get out of an argument with your grace intact.
1. Ask Whether The Issue Really Merits Getting Angry
Most of the time, arguments happen because one person’s pride is in the way. But look at it this way: It doesn’t make sense to devote two hours to arguing about whose home city has the better pizza! Swallowing your pride is an option.
2. Postpone The Argument If Necessary
When you feel yourself getting irate, stop and ask yourself if you can put off this discussion. If you’ve just got back from an exhausting day at the office, or are tired or hungry, try and put off your disagreement.
3. Don’t Hit Below The Belt
It’s tempting to bring up old arguments or issues in the relationship when you want to score points. But don’t do it. Keep your focus on the immediate issue, don’t expand the arena of the fight, and this will prevent the disagreement from going into any dark places.
4. Don't Gaslight Your Partner
Just like yours are, your partner’s feelings are valid, no matter what they are. If your partner is experiencing a strong emotional reaction to something you’re saying, there’s probably a reason for it. Asking questions without jumping to conclusions is always a wise choice.
Here are some examples of good statements to make to your partner:
“I want to understand why you say that.”
“What do you think the problem is?”
5. Don't Get Too Loud Or Aggressive
No matter how strongly you feel about what you’re saying, watch the tone of your voice. Ensuring you are patient and calm will help her stay calm as well. If she does point out that you’re yelling, lower your tone of voice immediately and apologize.
6. End The Argument With An Affirmation
Maybe your views on religion are never going to align. That’s accepted. After all, this is still the person you love and respect. When the arguments over, let it stay dead. You can continue your loving relationship without wasting time being mad at each other.